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I'm Upset


Sometimes we place a greater emphasis on dressing up our pain than dealing with it. We become more concerned with our external appearance than our internal well-being. Experiencing a season or a moment of heartbreak is not not abnormal. One of the messages that I rehearse frequently is "EVERYTHING is a part of God’s plan!" This includes the anger and agitation that God allows us to experience. I learned this lesson first hand in a previous season.

The woman that I called “My Everything” left me with a feeling of emptiness. False accusations eventually became realities in her mind, and the hatred for another person began to overshadow the love that I displayed to her. When I took a moment to reflect on everything, it left me with a strong feeling of disappointment and my mood reflected a popular Drake song, “I’m Upset”

The Good News Bible Translation of Ephesians 4:26 mentions the following about anger, “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.

The thirty first verse of this scripture adds, “Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort.”

Instead of hiding or covering up our anger, we need to address it. As this scripture tells us, DO NOT stay this way for an extended period of time. It never states that anger is abnormal, or that it needs to be hidden. Ephesians 4:31 instructs us to eliminate all bitterness and anger. It’s difficult to remove something that is never or hardly acknowledged. How can you get rid of bitterness or anger if you continuously deny that it exists?

I realized that denying it or “being a man” about it would hurt me more than it would heal me. Expressing my faith more than my pain gives the impression that I’m always strong, but I had to take a moment to admit that I was weakened.

As an athlete, we were always encouraged to “play through the pain” My late college basketball coach helped me distinguish the difference between playing through soreness and playing through an injury. Playing with some soreness was acceptable, but playing with an injury came with a risk. It could eventually become worse if you continue to play without properly addressing it. The same can happen if we continue to place a band aid on a wound that requires stitches or surgery. It’s pertinent to address your pain, and acknowledge that you’re hurting. Your spiritual and mental well-being can worsen if this doesn’t happen.

This is why I had to admit that some of my trials left me weakened. I know how weakness is perceived by the “Culture”. We are judged when we don’t have it all together, but we have to remember that we serve a God that aligns EVERYTHING together for our good!

We live in a “I’m Good Luv, Enjoy” world, but being savage won’t repair your broken heart. This is why I went to God for healing, and asked him to reveal the purpose for my pain!

Purposeful Pain

God has a purpose for every trial that we encounter. During my season of frustration and disappointment, I realized that God had a plan greater than my pain! This is why we shouldn’t remain angry or agitated in a painful season. When we surrender to God’s Will, we are subjected to everything from anointing to brokenness. As I moved closer to God’s purpose for my life, I had to answer the following questions from God:

  • Can I allow you to be broken to push you closer to my purpose?

  • Can I allow your patella tendon to tear in half to make someone’s faith whole?

  • Can I allow you to lose your job to find your calling?

  • Can I break your heart to demonstrate that I can mend one?

Every question that God proposed to me included great pain with a greater purpose. God assigns us to mountains to show that they can be moved! The New Living Translation of Proverbs 16:4 mentions the following, “The Lord has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked for a day of disaster.”

As this scripture states, God created EVERYTHING for his purposes, even the wicked for a brief moment of disaster. To break this scripture down a little further, it states a DAY of disaster not a week, month or a year. As the Good News Bible Translation of Psalms 30:5 tells us, “His anger lasts only a moment, his goodness for a lifetime. Tears may flow in the night, but joy comes in the morning.”

God wants us to live in faith not frustration! Although you may find yourself in a painful season, it’s NOT a permanent season! God has ordered all of our steps, and each one will eventually lead to everything that he promised us!

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Positioned To Prosper

Although it may not feel like it, you are EXACTLY where God wants you to be! The New Living Translation of Psalms 37:23 tells us the following, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Not only does God direct our steps, he relishes in EVERY detail of our lives.

During a recent sermon, my pastor (Dr. William Curtis) described the details of a golf ball and how the “dimples” increase the trajectory of it. Trajectory can be described as the flight or direction of an object. After hearing this illustration and doing some research, I realized that each golf ball is intentionally made with indentations or dimples.

God’s intentionally designed our lives the same way. An indentation can be described as a mark on the surface. Each one ultimately contributes to our elevation. I realized that without my trials, my testimony wouldn’t be the same! I realized that my pain pushed me closer to my purpose. My indentations placed me in the perfect position to prosper!

God took everything that was designed to hurt me and used it to elevate me. Everything that was meant to destroy my faith was used to develop it! As The Message Translation of Romans 8:28-29 states, “That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son.”

Every setback is a set up to complete God’s plan! Great trials are always followed by GREATER testimonies! We all know that the highlight of Jesus being resurrected wasn’t him being beaten and spit on. It was the sacrifice that he made for us, and his elevation to the throne! During 2018, I’ve experienced heartbreak, homelessness, financial trouble, and various attacks but that’s not how my story ends.

Moving back and forth in the winter eventually led to a bigger apartment with an office space. Dealing with heartbreak forced me to increase the focus on my calling. This renewed focus lead to a NAACP Image Award, organizing a team for the Autism Speaks Walk, being voted as a Top 3 Blogger in the Pittsburgh City Paper, and becoming a Licensed Associate Minister!

One may ask, “why is this required to complete his plan?” This is necessary to demonstrate what was stated in Romans 8:28, and to show us that ALL of our steps are ordered by him! God may have ordered steps to heartbreak, but he also ordered steps to your healing. You may have encountered a temporary failure, but God has a permanent plan for you to prosper!

Despite how or where you find yourself, you are in the perfect position to prosper! God is about to use your adversity to advance you!

Stay Encouraged!

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