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falconercarlton@gmail.com | Pittsburgh, PA

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Self Care: Love Yourself

February 19, 2018

We have always been taught and encouraged to treat others how we want to be treated. There are various quotes and scriptures that encourage us to put other people before ourselves. Although this is very important and a Christian way of thinking, it’s equally important and Christ like to love ourselves. The New Living Translation of Proverbs 19:8 states the following: “To acquire wisdom is to love yourself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.” Loving yourself doesn’t involve making yourself look and feel better than other women. This is all about YOU, and learning more about who you are and the woman you are becoming in Christ. There are so many reasons that you should love yourself: 

 

  • You are beautiful and you were created in the image of a perfect God

 

  • You are unconditionally loved by the greatest God in the world 

 

  • You were born a queen, and your crown was uniquely designed for YOU! 

 

  • You are special and God created a unique purpose for your life 

 

  • God sacrificed his only son for your existence 

 

The more you know about yourself, the easier it becomes to love yourself. The more you love yourself, the easier it becomes to prosper and become the woman God wants you to be. It’s important to establish a standard of who you are, and how you should be treated. God already established your worth well before your birth. The first part of John 3:16 (The Message Translation) states the following: “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.” For this context, you can substitute “the world” with “me”. The scripture would then read “This is how much God loved ME: He gave his Son, his one and only son.” You are a queen, and a daughter of the greatest God. This becomes difficult to see if you are not wearing your crown or if you’re wearing it in a slumped fashion. The Good News Bible Translation of 1 John 4:19 says the following: “We love because God first loved us.” You need to love yourself more in 2018 because you are unconditionally loved by a perfect God! 

 

Become A Priority 

The late Maya Angelou once said the following “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option” I’ve seen a few women echo this statement, especially pertaining to men. I couldn’t agree more with this quote, but the standard of being treated as a priority starts with YOU! Can you truly ask someone to treat you better than you treat yourself? Can you truly expect a man to treat you like a queen if you don’t carry yourself like one? Can you expect a person to empower you if you never empower yourself? It’s difficult to be considered a priority when your well being and purpose is optional to you. This has to change in 2018! You have to make a commitment to loving yourself MORE this year, and take it seriously. Become intentional about loving yourself. A synonym of the word priority is most important. In order to live your best life, self care has to be at the top of your daily “To-Do” list. You can’t live the life God designed for you if you are not loving yourself properly. Self care is no longer an option, it’s a necessity! 

 

Balancing Your Priorities 

In the first blog of the Self Care Series: Validation, I defined self care as showing yourself unconditional love. To add to this definition, self care includes nurturing your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Self care isn’t limited to relaxing on the weekend, taking a vacation or getting a pedicure. This could involve disconnecting from a toxic relationship or going to bed at an earlier time to feel more refreshed during the week. Anything depositing negativity into your life needs to be withdrawn immediately! Self care involves sustaining or protecting your mental state of mind. It doesn’t make sense to be stressed out and fatigued with a gorgeous face beat and a pair of Christian Louboutin heels. You may look good on the outside, but do you feel good internally? This is why it’s important to nurture both your physical and mental well-being. The same applies to your spiritual well-being. You can’t be on fleek if your prayer life is weak! You can’t expect to grow if you’re reading more statuses than scriptures. A woman without God will never reach her full potential. As a woman of Christ, your life has to be designed around him instead of trying to fit him in. Spiritual comfortability is the key to living your best life. When you value your relationship with God, you are going to nurture and protect it all costs, even if it means disconnecting from social media, the nightclub or a person bringing more chaos into your life than peace. Anyone or anything keeping you from God or a healthy state of mind needs to be eliminated! This emphasizes the significance of being well nourished physically, mentally, and spiritually. As you continue throughout the rest of the year, I want you to ask yourself these questions on a daily basis:

 

  • What did I do today to nurture or enhance my physical well-being?

 

  • What did I do today to nurture or improve my mindset?

 

  • What did I do today to nurture or enhance my spiritual well-being and relationship with God? 

 

Here are some ideas to nurture and enhance the three areas of self care:

 

Physical: 

  • Exercise

  • Healthy eating and staying hydrated (More water and less sugary beverages) 

  • Massage or Spa Treatment

  • Manicure and/or Pedicure

  • Getting a good night’s rest 

Mental: 

  • Relax! 

  • Disconnect from any and all sources of negativity

  • Set attainable goals for yourself 

  • Create a music playlist that helps you relax and or put you in a good mood

  • Spend time with people you love that bring positivity into your life 

Spiritual: 

  • Read the Bible and/or a Devotional 

  • Read a faith based book

  • Attend church

  • Pray on a consistent basis 

  • Fasting 

 

2018 is about loving yourself more, and this begins with making it a priority to learn more about who you are and the one who loved you first. The New Living Translation of Philippians 1:6 states the following: “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Everything that God has started within you is already finished. You will become the woman that he wants you to be, and you will receive every blessing that he has prepared for you. Stay the course, and remain committed to loving yourself along the way!

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